Arnold Schwarzenegger’s confession about having fathered a child with another woman while being married, and having kept it secret for ten years, shows once again that polygamy is everywhere. Unfortunately, usually it is done secretly and lying, and then it destroys families. It does not have to be like this.
Those who would take the trouble to go through the news of the past ten years, would find many cases of politicians, and of course the usual suspects like movie stars, artists and so on, that were caught having second or even-more-relations. And of course that is only what gets to the public, and only what is reported about individuals in the public light.
For ordinary people – that’s you and your neighbors – it also happens permanently. And usually, like with Arnold, it is done secretly and hypocritical. Our society – these are now again, you and your neighbors – is trapped in the misconception that love always has to be monogamous. The result of this delusional idea: Over 90% of people in my native Germany indicate in surveys to be unfaithful at some point in their lives, be it during a previous relationship or during the current relationship. You may say, what do i care about these ruthless sex-driven people in Germany, but try and search for the numbers for your country, they might be similar, like maybe also the next one. Over 50% of people in Germany state in surveys to be unfaithful during their current relationship or even to do it again and again. Once more: check for your own country. So there is a greater than 50% chance – or whatever the number in your country may be - that you or your partner or even both of you are unfaithful. And this of course is kept hidden from the partner, or to put it more clearly: a lot of people lie about their unfaithfulness to their partner, the one person with whom they actually wanted to build a life based on mutual trust. And at some point it ends for them (and you) as for Arnold, just simply search for the official divorce statistics for your country.
It could all be done in a different way. For a start, promiscuity, which is obviously so common with us, should not be morally condemned and prohibited by law, but accepted as a fact, which is not right away labelled with a moral judgment. Then you have a chance to honestly deal with it. It would be possible then to address the emotional challenges of promiscuity, at least when it is lived openly and honestly. It is clear that there will still be betrayal, but it would decline significantly.
It would also be possible then to address the more practical problems of promiscuity openly and in a reasonable manner. These include arrangements to ensure that the right people, i.e. the physical parents, pay the costs for the children and that inheritances are not secretly, and unknowingly, aquired by a changeling. These matters can be solved better today than by ineffective bans. Genetic testing of fatherhood provides a fast, safe and secure solution and making it mandatory should be in the interest of the State, otherwise – as far as i not being a lawyer understand it - the state unwantingly becomes an accomplice to under-shifting mothers aiding them in adultery, forgery of personal status and legacy hunting (i hope that i translated the legal terms correctly).
We humans are very good at creating problems to ourselves. The prohibition of promiscuity and of polygamy and it´s social ostracism and all the ensuing problems we should leave behind. Then the relations of many people may become a lot more honest, loving and truly happy.
Notice: This article is translated from an original article on one of my german websites Viktor-Leberecht.de or Polygamie-ist-gut-fuer-sie.de (engl:Polygamy is good for you). How i do my translations. Last updated: July 20, 2012 at 17:51 pm © Viktor Leberecht All rights reserved. Please feel free to share my content, but on republishing this post please provide a link to the original post, which happens automatically when you use Social-Sharing-Services. What do you think? Leave a comment here or send me a question through the contact form or the FAQ. You may also use your Facebook or your Twitter account for commenting (Twitter and Facebook login is above the comment field. The plugin that is used for this will ask for permission to access your respective account, but only in relation to your comment here.). All comments will be moderated due to legal regulations and to avoid Spam.